I expected this April to be different. I had a contract for a three year consulting project and was looking forward to the continuity and activity of the project once teaching was done. I worked many hours this winter, often over 60 hours per week, and the thought of a single project was appealing. This is not to be.
The project is on hold, with a new proposal forthcoming within a few weeks. I now have plenty of time to write, to go to yoga, to read, to rock climb and see friends, to walk my dog. I am grateful for this period. Just two days into the slower pace, and I feel more like myself. It feels good.
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For many years, my metaphor for life was climbing mountains. Strength, resilience, tenacity were all attributes I desired. My metaphor is changing and has been changing for some time. I had one dream several years ago that sustains me when I feel lost and afraid. I am in a small sailing dinghy and a large wave looms ready to crash down and crush. I turn to face the wave and my boat and I dive under the crest and come out to stillness. Face your fears and be still. Let the hard become easy.
In another dream, I picture the trail map of a ski mountain. There are white snowy paths lined with trees and rock. Coming down the trails, in reverse of salmon spawning, are humpback whales crowded together. The whales flow down much the way water flows in a river. A bringing together of nature's extremes - mountain and water, hard and soft. No resistence, just flow. Power and grace, a whale and a mountain singing together.
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So this is me, now. I am at home, facing the wave of spring change. It need not be hard. It will be easy.
Namaste,
Ginny
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