Left, right, right

I was at the rock climbing gym one Sunday afternoon and none of my friends were available to belay me, so I bouldered (which is climbing without a harness and rope but only to a certain height). Some rock climbers prefer bouldering. Others use it to train endurance by doing horizontal circuits around the gym. Still others boulder to work out certain "problems" which are series of moves determined by the placement of particular feet and hand holds.

I bouldered a circuit for a while but I could only endure so much for so long and I turned to the problems. The ones at the gym where I climb are graded in increasing difficulty from 1-24. Usually I can complete problems 1-8 without much difficulty and I have never completed a problem higher than 12. This is still true. That Sunday, I completed 1-8 with no problem. I started 9 but it is in the cave with the moves set from the side to the ceiling. I get stuck on a ceiling move. Whether I lack the core strength or technique or willingness to commit, I don't know, but I get stuck at the same place every time. I was able to complete problems 10-11 with coaching from others and I am now working on 12. I can do each individual move but cannot string them together to flow from start to finish. I would like to break past this level of climbing and progress, so I decided to specifically work on moves that I find either mentally or physically challenging.

One of the moves that I find difficult is to be in a position with my feet high on the wall, knees fully bent and hands on a single hold, somewhat like a backstroke swimmer at the start of a race, and then dynamically reach up high with one hand to the next hold. It's like being in a squat and reaching up to a basketball hoop. I decided to practice this un-coiling and catching the hold until I had done it ten times in a row.

First try - I positioned my hands on the start hold, brought my right foot up and then my left foot and reached with my right hand. Miss. Second try, I did the same thing and succeeded in catching the hold. My brain and body had used the information from the first try to gauge how much unfurling was required. Third try, I did it again. My neurological circuits were firing and the move was transitioning into body memory.

I decided to experiment and make a subtle change in the movement. Experiment - I positioned my hands on the start hold, brought my left foot up and then my right foot and reached with my right hand. Miss. Second try in the experiment, I did the same thing and missed. Third try, I missed again. Fourth try, I missed again. Clearly, something was amiss.

The pattern of movement - left, right, right - is not the pattern I am accustomed to in ordinary life. I walk, left, right, left right. I swim, feet kicking left, right, left right and my arms arc left, right, left right. To move two limbs on one side of my body in succession feels wrong. This is why it is good for me. I am breaking through old patterns and creating new neurological pathways. Not only will this help me climb better but research shows this learning will help me as I age. Learning dance moves or yoga poses, I encounter the same thing. New ways of moving create new ways of being.

And so, if you notice yourself moving in the same pattern, time and time again, alter the pattern slightly and notice what happens next. You may feel a frisson of fear as you do something new, but it's all part of the fun.

Seeing things

I was walking my dog this afternoon and, about twenty minutes into the walk, I noticed my thoughts. I was thinking about skiing. Now, as much as I like to think about skiing, thinking about it in July in the northern hemisphere is clearly an example of not being in the present moment.

So, I shifted from visualizing future enjoyment into the "now". Immediately I began to see things differently. I was walking past a grove of birch trees. I looked at a tree and noticed the subtle gradations of pale gray and green bark . Ants were channeling up and down the trunk. The next tree was also a birch but I was struck by its stark white and black. Two trees of the same species next to one another, much the same when viewed quickly, but with dramatic contrast when viewed with intent.

The life lessons are apparent and almost cliched. Be in the present moment. Pay attention to each individual. Do these things and life will reveal itself differently.

Namaste,
Ginny

Plus ca change

I've been going to yoga a lot lately, and I feel changes happening in my body. The progress I began to feel last year in loosening my tight hamstrings continues. My hips continue to open, and my lower back feels more aligned. I attribute the changes not just to the physical exercise but to how I am feeling emotionally. I am letting go, and so my body follows (or perhaps, it's the other way round, my body is letting go and I am following).

My left leg in particular is loosening and tightening at the same time. For the first time in many of the poses, I am holding it locked and strong. It is a new feeling. These changes are not dramatic and they are not driven by external circumstances. I am not injured. I have not gained or lost weight. I am simply doing yoga, and by doing yoga I am changing.

I am finding that my ego is challenged by some of these changes. The shift from slightly bent knee to straight knee, from hip and quadricep almost parallel to the floor to parallel is having consequences on my ability to hold triangle pose. This has been a favorite pose, similar to warrior pose, and one that I have moved into easily since beginning yoga. Now, I am falling out of it, unable to stay balanced. Sometimes, my feet start to slip and I wonder if I have the inner thigh strength and the inner mental strength to keep holding the pose. Sometimes, I hold the pose. More often than I would like to admit, I put my hands down on the ground for respite. It is humbling to no longer be able to stay in a pose for the full sixty seconds. I imagine that the instructors think that I am wussing out for, in the past, I have always been able to hold the pose.

I realized that I was competent in the pose previously. Now I am on my way to a new strength and flexibility. To achieve this, I will fall out of poses. I will find new edges and limits. Internally generated change, simply to grow, seems difficult. I am asking myself to be resilient, to be comfortable with discomfort, to create new neurological pathways.

Many of my big life changes have had an external stimulus such as change of job or change in marital status. I am realizing that to make a big life change or to simply become unstuck requires a different strength when the motivation is internal. The change is incremental and almost unobservable until the accumulation results in a action that others perceive as change. Change is constant. Change is real. Plus ca change, plus ca change.