Winter's backpack

I cleaned out my backpack this morning. I've been using it nearly every day since October. It went to Switzerland with me. It went to Rabbit Hill every weekday since the beginning of December, and it has been to the mountains nearly every weekend. I knew there was stuff in it that I hadn't seen in while but was surprised by what I did find. (Thankfully, there were no month-old peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but there was a three-day old tupperware with Friday's lunch residue - yuck but not super yuck.)

I found:
Three pairs of ski mittens
Three pairs of socks
A pair of earrings
My helmet and goggles
My goggles case
A small round tupperware container
A pair of jeans
An extra fleece
A neckwarmer
The electrodes from my boot heaters
My boot heater's batteries
Ski straps
some bits of Christmas wrap
loose change
a pencil
A CD of My Swiss Trip

Cleaning this backpack marks a transition. I no longer need it on a daily basis. I will need it only for the next few weekends and then it will either retire until next Fall or re-purpose into a climbing backpack. I am trying not to feel sad but another part of me says that I should allow myself to feel sad. I hope that part wins. I love winter and I love spring, summer, and fall. It's just that in April, spring really isn't here yet. The snow is melted except dirty clumps clinging to the shade. Brown evergreen needles, bits of garbage windblown through the city, dirt laid down on roads for traction are all uncovered and not yet cleaned by spring rains.

There are signs of spring. If I pull back the withered leaves of last year, I see new Iris shoots emerging from the damp soil. Huddled next to foundations, grass is beginning to green. Children are outside on scooters and trikes.

Winter is the heaviest season. We do need to carry more with us. It is time to shed my backpack and to take down my "Let it Snow" banner. Spring is a time of birth and growth and potential. I look forward to it and being part of it. Begone layers of socks and boot heaters. I will be walking barefoot in green grass soon.