Gripping the ground

I'm not a naturally relaxed person (surprise, surprise!) so over the past few years, I 've become very conscious of checking with my body to see where I sense tension. I am feeling it in my toes and feet, so much so, that I just wish they could they could relax. I am gripping the ground, toes curled in, achilles tendon and heels slightly lifted, weight on the balls of my feet.

The good news is that I am aware. The bad news is that there is nothing I can do. Yoga and relaxation tapes just intensify the feeling. Whatever is causing me to grip and ground with the edges of my toes is in me and will come out with allowing, not trying. I was curious as to what could be causing this new/old feeling so I investigated some reflexology websites. I'm not convinced that the feelings that I have are related to the energy meridians associated with my vital organs. Let me re-phrase that...I'm not convinced that I understand how what I am feeling and what is going on in my life is related to the energy meridians associated with these particular vital organs.

Maybe I am gripping to stay where I am, trying to resist change. Maybe I recognize that I am falling forward into change and haven't fully allowed it. Maybe I am trying to stay grounded as change occurs. My toes are saying " stay, stay" while the rest of me wants to get up and go. Is that true? It seems so. All three wordings imply the same thing. Change is occuring and I want to stay rooted. It is time for another gardening metaphor. A rootbound plant doesn't thrive. Transplanting to a better location or bigger pot causes temporary shock but luxuriant growth follows. I need to let go of these roots so even stronger ones can grow. This is why the feeling is new/old. I have been through it before. In the past, I was uprooted through storms of change. This time, the impetus for growth is within me. My toes are still curled, but I think I'm on to something, and it's not just the ground.

Namaste,
Ginny