Sometimes when my mind becomes over-active, I muddle things into a ball. I think "If I do this, I can't do that, but I want to do that, but if I do that, then this will become more difficult. And what about this? And what about that?" And so on and so on, until I am a twisted mess. I was heading down this path yesterday, conscious that I was doing so, but still mixing and twisting things that don't belong together, and I decided to write.
This was a good idea. I wrote, stream of consciousness, and discovered clarity. I wrote: "I've got lots of mixed feelings going on...I tend to lump all the stuff into a ball and instead of looking at the opportunities ( which is really what I have in front of me), I get frozen worrying about the future if I pick this one or that one. For now, all I can do is pursue the opportunities. Today there are no decisions. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. Time will untangle this mixed-up ball of feelings. I know that."
Things are untangling. I ran into someone at yoga who I wished to see. A tentative appointment to look at a new home has been postponed but that's okay. I am not ready today but I will be. Other tasks seem less daunting. I have given myself permission "not to know", not to know with certainty where I will be living next fall, what the major source of my income will be, what activities I will be involved in. The irony is that, even if I think I know, I don't.
The only thing I know for certain is that I am happier, more "me" when I sit with myself and listen to my intuition. In addition, I am going to implement some life coaching advice and create a vision board of things that resonate with me. I know that on the board will be a letter I wrote to myself today that will say "open in January" as a reminder to me, that when I get busy, to stop, go to yoga, just be and breathe.
This was a good idea. I wrote, stream of consciousness, and discovered clarity. I wrote: "I've got lots of mixed feelings going on...I tend to lump all the stuff into a ball and instead of looking at the opportunities ( which is really what I have in front of me), I get frozen worrying about the future if I pick this one or that one. For now, all I can do is pursue the opportunities. Today there are no decisions. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. Time will untangle this mixed-up ball of feelings. I know that."
Things are untangling. I ran into someone at yoga who I wished to see. A tentative appointment to look at a new home has been postponed but that's okay. I am not ready today but I will be. Other tasks seem less daunting. I have given myself permission "not to know", not to know with certainty where I will be living next fall, what the major source of my income will be, what activities I will be involved in. The irony is that, even if I think I know, I don't.
The only thing I know for certain is that I am happier, more "me" when I sit with myself and listen to my intuition. In addition, I am going to implement some life coaching advice and create a vision board of things that resonate with me. I know that on the board will be a letter I wrote to myself today that will say "open in January" as a reminder to me, that when I get busy, to stop, go to yoga, just be and breathe.
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