Fear of not falling

I heard a song on the radio the other day. It was about the fear of not falling. The concept intrigues me and I have searched for the song and its lyrics on the web. I haven't found it yet but I will keep looking.

The fear of not falling...I know what the fear of falling is but what is the fear of not falling? I picture a child learning to walk. Oftentimes, walking is describing as a series of mini-falls from which we constantly recover our balance and stay upright. Certainly a child learning to walk doesn't suffer from a fear of falling. Kids go splat all the time. What if a toddler had a fear of not falling? Is that a fear of success? Would a child learn to walk with a fear of not falling?

I think both the fear of falling and the fear of not falling can inhibit us. I rock climb and definitely have a fear of falling. The fear manifests itself in different ways, usually when I about about 3/4 of the way up the wall at the gym. I can see the finish but am not there yet. The fear of falling can keep me clinging to the same holds until I say "take" and and am lowered down. The fear of falling can stimulate me to cheat and put my foot or hand on a non-route hold that makes the next move appear more stable.

To learn to make the next move, I need to try it without the "cheating" hand or foot hold. I might not shift balance fast enough and grasp the hold and fall off. I might try it with my body facing into the wall and then realize no, I need to turn my hips sideways into a backstep. I can practice these moves by falling in the safety of the climbing gym while I am on top rope belay. So when I'm climbing in the gym, the fear of falling is not really a factor.

The fear of not falling may be more real. Rock climbing, like a lot of life's pursuits, relies on integration of mind and body. My body may be able to do something but if my mind says no, I won't. Suprisingly (or not so), our minds often limit what we can achieve. If I don't fall while climbing that route, it means that I can do it. If I've done it once, I can do it again. Doing something (not falling) may be just as scary, if not more, than not doing something. So for me, the fear of falling and the fear of not falling are almost the same. They can stop me and the solution is to get out and DO. Break through each little fear moment by moment.

Here's an example relating to my mental challenge at the 3/4 point of the wall... I was doing a drill last year in which I was climbing blindfolded with my belayer directing me where to put my hands and my feet. I never knew know how far I was up on the wall, just that felt calm and centered without fear. I found each hold that my belayer described, sometimes circling with it with my foot or hand before I reached it but always getting the right one. I was in each moment and before I knew it, I was at the top of the wall. It was a fun climb.

And a word about the chasms I wrote about yesterday ...Personal chasms come in all shapes and sizes. It might require a leap to make a telephone call, try a new sport, change your job, let someone know you like them (whether by flirting, outright statement or a first kiss), challenge a co-worker, lose weight, hold a dissenting opinion, take a taxi, go back to school. The list goes on, as individual as we are and as changing as we are.