More on being at home

I was reflecting on my entry from yesterday, and something seemed missing. I think I know what I missed. Physical place does have a role in being at home, but you can't be at home in that place without being yourself. This is kind of like "all rectangles are squares but not all squares are rectangles".

For example, certain places have an energy that attracts me. Lake Louise is one of those places. I have had three of the most magical experiences of my life there, skating on the lake, climbing on the cliffs at its back, and skiing on the mountain. The Rocky Mountains are vast, but Lake Louise and its surrounding peaks have a special pull for me. The pull is spiritual. I feel like my soul opens up and I can really see the power, strength, gentleness and fragility of nature and life. But for this to happen, I must be at home with who I am. I use other words to describe being at home - centred and grounded are two. If I am not centered, then I am closed to feeling and seeing the true mountains and lake. In the years when I was stuck closed without realizing it, I would say that I loved the mountains but when I got there didn't enjoy the experience. I was cold. I had the wrong clothes. It was raining. I was out of shape. I always had a reason not to open up and see the magnificence. And so, this is what I mean by saying that you have to be at home in yourself to be at home in one of the places that feels so right.

Even when I was stuck closed (which sometimes I also call being frozen), I sought out places to relax and just be. My bath was one of those places. It has windows on three sides so that light and nature shine in. I added to the wattage with candles. I would often put soothing music on and pour aromatic bergomot oil into the tub. I would let the water wash over me and I felt cleansed of all the beliefs that kept me from being me, and for a brief time, I thawed amidst the water and steam. I was at home, literally and figuratively.

Now, that I carry my home within me, I open to the special energy of places much more easily. I am at home in the yoga studio. I am at home in the climbing gym. I am at home at the ski hill (...and a couple of years ago I realized why this particular ski hill attracted me. It is on the banks of the North Saskatchewan river and, despite the distance between Alberta and New Jersey, it reminds me of the beauty of the hills beside the Navesink and Shrewsbury rivers where I grew up). I am at home at home. I feel my soul open when I visit the ocean. I feel my soul open when I with certain friends and family. And, when my soul opens, the world is an incredible place full of paradox and beauty.