Follow the happy feeling

On Tuesday I wrote about being happy and today I woke up with a very different feeling. I felt tired and heavy and questioned whether I liked what I am doing in terms of teaching at a university, consulting, ski teaching and life coaching. I felt like crying but couldn't (wouldn't?). I knew in my heart that one of the reasons that I felt tired is that I am tired, but still questioned whether what I wrote on Tuesday was true. Is it true that I no longer fear failure or success?...or am I just wanting that to be true?

As I drove to the university for an early morning meeting with a student, I thought about my activities over the past few days and what my beliefs were about the outcomes. I realized that I have some work to do on some beliefs, that I wanted to be perfect in a couple of situations and was hard on myself when I perceived otherwise.

My day shifted when I met with the student. She had come to me earlier in the week looking for advice on whether to go to grad school or look for work, and in both cases wanted direction on which grad school and which type of work. I didn't give her the answers that she wanted but asked her some questions. She told me that her parents had given her direction and advice and she knew that she wanted something different. She also described how that was the very reason she was talking to a number of her professors and instructors. She was looking to them to provide the direction she feels she is lacking. We talked about how only she can read her internal compass and how only she knows when a direction is right or not for her. We also talked about how she was replacing her parents' advice with advice from others. I asked her to make a list of things she likes to do, environments she likes to be in, and group them however she wanted.

Today, the student came in with five pages of lists and recounted how she felt when she wrote down information about grad school. She said she felt "panicky". We talked some more and she described how she would feel in other circumstances. She was articulate and perceptive. After comparing a few alternatives, her conclusion was: "Follow the happy feeling". I like that. "Follow the happy feeling". Happiness is not always in your grasp, but you can see it and know that it is there ahead of you. I am still happy. Not in every moment, but overall I am following the happy feeling. So, the student taught the teacher, and isn't that what teaching and learning is?